Birth: I was born the seventh of eight children in a small, northern Michigan town. I spent much of my time as a child at the library and in my room, reading and writing. Even though I look very much like my parents and siblings, when my parents sent in the film from my baby pictures to have them developed (back in the old days), the film was lost. Therefore, there are very few pictures of me as a child. I often would claim that I had been adopted because of this. Only recently, in cleaning an old desk, did my mother come across what she calls "proof of my not having been adopted": the hospital bill from my birth. Like my many siblings, I went through the public school system, then on to college. I shifted my major as many students do, first from English, to music, then to communication disorders: speech pathology. I found a program at CMU to pursue my chosen field of study.
Call to Adventure: I had an extremely difficult teacher in my speech pathology classes and he and I argued frequently. I received low grades in his classes as a result of my disagreeing with his theories and attempting to incorporate new methodologies into my therapy sessions with clients. At one point, I realized that in order to graduate from the program, I was going to have to adopt his concepts and approaches because I needed his classes to finish. I decided I would not compromise on this, and choose to drop out of the program. It was a frightening time, since I was so near completion of the program. I was depressed about it, but at the same time, felt a sense of freedom. I realized that if I went into that field of work, I could very well end up being constrained in my work and in my research. I switched my major to English, which I had been pursuing as a dual major anyway, and which had always been my true life and academic love.
Helpers/Amulet: Peter Koper, one of my English professors, became my mentor in applying for graduate school. He was a gruff man whom many students did not like. I first encountered him when I heard other students talking about how hard his classes were. That kind of talk didn't scare me, but actually interested me. I wanted a teacher who would challenge my skill level. And what should he be teaching but Greek literature. I knew from the first moment I saw him that he was a teacher who would not stand for slackers in his classroom. I endeared myself to him by sitting in the very back row of the class and actually asking questions. I attended his additional study sessions for tests. I visited him during office hours for extra help on my assignments, for which I never received a single A grade, but from which I learned more than in any other class before or since. I asked Dr. Koper to be my reference for an English graduate school program. I believe he would support me and show me the right way to apply. He actually tried to talk me out of going into English, telling me there was no money in it and it was a lot of work. He never told me not to do it; he was just making sure I went into my future fully informed. His words did not discourage me but only served to challenge me more. He wrote me a letter of recommendation for the graduate program at MSU and helped me polish my entrance essay.
Crossing the Threshold: I waited all summer to hear from MSU. My CMU friends all had their plans and were heading off on their next academic ventures, leaving me waiting and worrying about where I would be in the fall. Late summer, I finally heard from MSU; they told me I had not been accepted because my graduate application was missing information. I called them and was shuffled from one office to the next only to discover they did have everything, it had just been separated between two files. Still, they told me there was no room in the program at that time and I would need to wait a year. I was outraged. It was their fault, but they were not helping me by fixing the situation. I argued and argued with them, but they still refused to let me in, saying I would have to wait until second semester. Then I asked what other programs were still open. “Studio Arts,” I was told. “Then sign me up as a Studio Arts major.” And so my journey at MSU began with my declaration of Studio Arts, and I had learned my first lesson in how to work the academic system.
Tests: Graduate school was nothing like I expected, and nothing for which I was prepared. I did not know how to conduct formal research and was expected to turn in weekly research projects for some of my classes. I spent hours every day buried in the library stacks. I did not know how to act in a seminar class where we sat in circles and the teacher would base entire grades on participation. If I didn't say something, I could fail a class, and every student was attempting to outshine the others to vie for the highest grade in the class. I was met with instructors who were more concerned about their own research than their students. We would be assigned research projects on the topics the teachers were researching for their own personal interest, then they would simply use our research for their own gain. Because I knew I wanted to teach college English, I applied for graduate assistantships but could not get one. I then found out several other women who were “dating” faculty members had received assistantships. When I went forward to discuss this with my department chair, he dismissed it as unfounded. I later found out that my department chair was “dating” one of my peers. Among the English graduate students I had no friends. Each of them was self-absorbed in their own work, in promoting themselves and wanting to stand out as better than their peers. There was no support between students, and in fact, there was an extremely negative, competitve environment. I would try to research a subject in the library only to find pages ripped from books and reserve materials missing.
Helpers: I met Kathy Geissler, a proffesor who took me under her wing. She let me co-teach a class with her to gain experience teaching. She showed me how to read and grade student papers. She helped me with any questions I had and listened to me whine about how unfair I felt the program was. She wrote me letters of recommendation to put into my graduate file for later job applications. There were a few other teachers as well who did not shame me for my ignorance and lack of preparation. Lister Matheson foster my appreciation for ancient theatre and even asked for a copy of one of my research papers to use as an example. Dr. Tess was gentle and kind in the classroom, but fierce when presented with any matter of injustice in the academic system. She was a great role model for me in learning how to separate issues and not lose sight of "real reasons" for being in school.
Climax/Final Battle Scene: Just prior to graduation, I found out I was missing two requirements: first, that I did not meet my foreign language proficiency requirement. I had taken one year of three languages instead of two years of any one language. I had to spend a condensed spring semester in a French-for-dummy-graduates class to pass my reading proficiency test. Second, I did not have my health and wellness requirement. It had not been required at any other school I had attended, but MSU required it of all its students. So, as an eighth-year graduate student, I had to take a nutrition class and an activity class - the only one that was still open was aerobics. As a typical graduate student in love with the romantic image of the English major, my diet consisted of Camel cigarettes, espresso, diet coke and an occasional slice of pizza. The aerobics class was by far the greatest final battle stage.
Flight: I met all the requirements of the English MA program and participated in the graduation ceremony to receive my diploma.
Return: Even with a diploma in hand, I returned to my drudgery work at a bakery. I came to the realization that just because I had a degree didn’t mean I was going to get a teaching job. A lot of people believe that a degree with suddenly change their life, when in fact, it is only just the beginning of that change. So, here I was, eight years of schools, scooping cookie dough and kneading bread. Life would stay exactly the same if I let it; it was up to me to continue on to change that. I began applying for teaching positions.
Elixir: I worked for many years teaching part time while also working other full-time jobs. It was hard to piece together two and sometimes three jobs, but I did it because I really wanted to be a teacher. There were times when I would question whether getting that degree was the right thing to do, and I had to wonder if Dr. Koper hadn't been right those many years ago. But, I persisted. I came to see how much my love for English and my desire to help people came together well in the college classroom. I met students who "hated" English or who were scared to death of the subject who later learned to respect the subject matter as well as themselves and survive the class. I also saw that I enjoyed working with underprepared students, that I could make a difference in their lives if I could help them to overcome their fears, learn some basic skills to take with them, and help them open that door to a future they might not ever have known.
Home: After nearly eight years of part-time teaching, I received my first full-time teaching job in Alpena. I taught there for six years, then made my second move to a full-time teaching position at Delta, where I hope I will be able to complete my teaching career. Here at Delta, I teach the range from developmental classes to literature. I also can keep taking education classes, and even participate in teaching sessions for my colleagues. Looking back over this journey, and seeing so many people who are just beginning the same, I try to be the best helper I can be and assure them, it will be worth it in the end.
My Journey: Getting my masters degree.
Birth: I was born the seventh of eight children in a small, northern Michigan town. I spent much of my time as a child at the library and in my room, reading and writing. Even though I look very much like my parents and siblings, when my parents sent in the film from my baby pictures to have them developed (back in the old days), the film was lost. Therefore, there are very few pictures of me as a child. I often would claim that I had been adopted because of this. Only recently, in cleaning an old desk, did my mother come across what she calls "proof of my not having been adopted": the hospital bill from my birth. Like my many siblings, I went through the public school system, then on to college. I shifted my major as many students do, first from English, to music, then to communication disorders: speech pathology. I found a program at CMU to pursue my chosen field of study.
Call to Adventure: I had an extremely difficult teacher in my speech pathology classes and he and I argued frequently. I received low grades in his classes as a result of my disagreeing with his theories and attempting to incorporate new methodologies into my therapy sessions with clients. At one point, I realized that in order to graduate from the program, I was going to have to adopt his concepts and approaches because I needed his classes to finish. I decided I would not compromise on this, and choose to drop out of the program. It was a frightening time, since I was so near completion of the program. I was depressed about it, but at the same time, felt a sense of freedom. I realized that if I went into that field of work, I could very well end up being constrained in my work and in my research. I switched my major to English, which I had been pursuing as a dual major anyway, and which had always been my true life and academic love.
Helpers/Amulet: Peter Koper, one of my English professors, became my mentor in applying for graduate school. He was a gruff man whom many students did not like. I first encountered him when I heard other students talking about how hard his classes were. That kind of talk didn't scare me, but actually interested me. I wanted a teacher who would challenge my skill level. And what should he be teaching but Greek literature. I knew from the first moment I saw him that he was a teacher who would not stand for slackers in his classroom. I endeared myself to him by sitting in the very back row of the class and actually asking questions. I attended his additional study sessions for tests. I visited him during office hours for extra help on my assignments, for which I never received a single A grade, but from which I learned more than in any other class before or since. I asked Dr. Koper to be my reference for an English graduate school program. I believe he would support me and show me the right way to apply. He actually tried to talk me out of going into English, telling me there was no money in it and it was a lot of work. He never told me not to do it; he was just making sure I went into my future fully informed. His words did not discourage me but only served to challenge me more. He wrote me a letter of recommendation for the graduate program at MSU and helped me polish my entrance essay.
Crossing the Threshold: I waited all summer to hear from MSU. My CMU friends all had their plans and were heading off on their next academic ventures, leaving me waiting and worrying about where I would be in the fall. Late summer, I finally heard from MSU; they told me I had not been accepted because my graduate application was missing information. I called them and was shuffled from one office to the next only to discover they did have everything, it had just been separated between two files. Still, they told me there was no room in the program at that time and I would need to wait a year. I was outraged. It was their fault, but they were not helping me by fixing the situation. I argued and argued with them, but they still refused to let me in, saying I would have to wait until second semester. Then I asked what other programs were still open. “Studio Arts,” I was told. “Then sign me up as a Studio Arts major.” And so my journey at MSU began with my declaration of Studio Arts, and I had learned my first lesson in how to work the academic system.
Tests: Graduate school was nothing like I expected, and nothing for which I was prepared. I did not know how to conduct formal research and was expected to turn in weekly research projects for some of my classes. I spent hours every day buried in the library stacks. I did not know how to act in a seminar class where we sat in circles and the teacher would base entire grades on participation. If I didn't say something, I could fail a class, and every student was attempting to outshine the others to vie for the highest grade in the class. I was met with instructors who were more concerned about their own research than their students. We would be assigned research projects on the topics the teachers were researching for their own personal interest, then they would simply use our research for their own gain. Because I knew I wanted to teach college English, I applied for graduate assistantships but could not get one. I then found out several other women who were “dating” faculty members had received assistantships. When I went forward to discuss this with my department chair, he dismissed it as unfounded. I later found out that my department chair was “dating” one of my peers. Among the English graduate students I had no friends. Each of them was self-absorbed in their own work, in promoting themselves and wanting to stand out as better than their peers. There was no support between students, and in fact, there was an extremely negative, competitve environment. I would try to research a subject in the library only to find pages ripped from books and reserve materials missing.
Helpers: I met Kathy Geissler, a proffesor who took me under her wing. She let me co-teach a class with her to gain experience teaching. She showed me how to read and grade student papers. She helped me with any questions I had and listened to me whine about how unfair I felt the program was. She wrote me letters of recommendation to put into my graduate file for later job applications. There were a few other teachers as well who did not shame me for my ignorance and lack of preparation. Lister Matheson foster my appreciation for ancient theatre and even asked for a copy of one of my research papers to use as an example. Dr. Tess was gentle and kind in the classroom, but fierce when presented with any matter of injustice in the academic system. She was a great role model for me in learning how to separate issues and not lose sight of "real reasons" for being in school.
Climax/Final Battle Scene: Just prior to graduation, I found out I was missing two requirements: first, that I did not meet my foreign language proficiency requirement. I had taken one year of three languages instead of two years of any one language. I had to spend a condensed spring semester in a French-for-dummy-graduates class to pass my reading proficiency test. Second, I did not have my health and wellness requirement. It had not been required at any other school I had attended, but MSU required it of all its students. So, as an eighth-year graduate student, I had to take a nutrition class and an activity class - the only one that was still open was aerobics. As a typical graduate student in love with the romantic image of the English major, my diet consisted of Camel cigarettes, espresso, diet coke and an occasional slice of pizza. The aerobics class was by far the greatest final battle stage.
Flight: I met all the requirements of the English MA program and participated in the graduation ceremony to receive my diploma.
Return: Even with a diploma in hand, I returned to my drudgery work at a bakery. I came to the realization that just because I had a degree didn’t mean I was going to get a teaching job. A lot of people believe that a degree with suddenly change their life, when in fact, it is only just the beginning of that change. So, here I was, eight years of schools, scooping cookie dough and kneading bread. Life would stay exactly the same if I let it; it was up to me to continue on to change that. I began applying for teaching positions.
Elixir: I worked for many years teaching part time while also working other full-time jobs. It was hard to piece together two and sometimes three jobs, but I did it because I really wanted to be a teacher. There were times when I would question whether getting that degree was the right thing to do, and I had to wonder if Dr. Koper hadn't been right those many years ago. But, I persisted. I came to see how much my love for English and my desire to help people came together well in the college classroom. I met students who "hated" English or who were scared to death of the subject who later learned to respect the subject matter as well as themselves and survive the class. I also saw that I enjoyed working with underprepared students, that I could make a difference in their lives if I could help them to overcome their fears, learn some basic skills to take with them, and help them open that door to a future they might not ever have known.
Home: After nearly eight years of part-time teaching, I received my first full-time teaching job in Alpena. I taught there for six years, then made my second move to a full-time teaching position at Delta, where I hope I will be able to complete my teaching career. Here at Delta, I teach the range from developmental classes to literature. I also can keep taking education classes, and even participate in teaching sessions for my colleagues. Looking back over this journey, and seeing so many people who are just beginning the same, I try to be the best helper I can be and assure them, it will be worth it in the end.